Be Celebrated, Not Tolerated

For Middle Age and Beyond

In this season of celebration, let’s not forget to celebrate ourselves. The societal norms of humility, politeness, and courtesy make it difficult to focus on personal achievement without feeling self-conscious. Nobody wants to be a braggart.

As we approach the holiday season and our annual traditions; embrace the opportunity to personally celebrate milestones, experiences, relationships, and growth.

Photo by Trust "Tru" Katsande on Unsplash Fireworks in Celebration

“Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Where You’re Tolerated.” -source unknown

I will digress for a few sentences on the origin of this piece of advice. It has been quoted for decades. While it is not a biblical verse (and I am no biblical scholar), the bible offers examples encouraging people to seek spaces where we are valued and appreciated. Various authors claim they originated the quote. I choose to designate it, as “source unknown.”

The quote reflects being in places, situations, and relationships where we feel lifted versus minimized and marginalized. It is aimed at external validation—how others affirm our presence. Do you have that FB friend who updates their photo monthly—thirsty for compliments about how handsome or beautiful they look? Feeding their ego becomes exhausting. It leaves us to ponder—how do we lift ourselves? (asking for that FB friend)

LinkedIn is built on external validation from a corporate perspective. It depends on others to—celebrate our new job, promotion, course completed, certification, book we read, thought we had…and the followers like, celebrate, support, love, and find your accomplishment or thought insightful or funny.

Holiday posts are highlight reels. Don’t get stressed out over curated content. We can practice gratitude and healthy habits to make the holidays more manageable.

As we get older there are no grades from classes we completed or performance appraisals to acknowledge a job well done. We have to develop internal validation where external validation doesn’t exist.

It is not something that has to be splashed on social media. Our pat on our own back is probably more meaningful if the achievements are not exclaimed from a platform. Since writing is my way to release and reflect, I journal about the year ending and the new year ahead.

Everyone has a way of communicating their innermost thoughts. For some, it is through prayer. In Indianapolis, I know people who visit Camp Chesterfield, to walk the labyrinth, meditate and reflect. Others practice spending time in solitude, while the musicians create music and the runners run, there is no end to the rituals we find to soothe our souls.

Photo by Vishnu Prajapati. Standing on the mountain during the blue hour.

This year, embrace the idea of celebrating yourself and developing internal validation. Enjoy the season and the year ahead. I look forward to reconnecting with you in 2025!

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