Celebrating My 31st Anniversary!

An Unusual Love Story

Photo by Kostiantyn Li on Unsplash

Flipping calendar pages each month, celebrating my milestone birthdays- 40, 50, 60—together, ushering in a new millennium and the 21st Century, and welcoming new family members. You are a warm host to my friends and family, whether we were celebrating or mourning.

To be honest, you have heard this before, I never expected us to last this long. It is not that I am commitment-phobic. I can commit. The endurance part is my struggle. My therapist assured me I had overcome my avoidant attachment issues, and then she died. There is no follow-up, I am left to believe her assessment. I stayed attached to you, the holder of my most intimate thoughts, and secrets. Within your warmth, I laughed until tears rolled down my face. With you, I have cried that ugly cry when snot shoots out my nose, my glasses steamed up, and I am left gulping for air.

You are more than a structure, more than a building, more than a house, you are my home. La Mi casa. February 28, 1994, I received the keys that opened your front door. My co-workers with custom builds, dismissively view you as a ‘tract’ home. The builder let me make minor modifications. Every week, I would stop by during your construction to inspect and take photos. You have my imprint. You are custom for me.

On my weekly construction visit in the winter of 1993.

I opened the front door with my key for the very first time alone before I picked up, the little one, from Kindercare. Lynn, my secretary, cleared the calendar for two hours to sign papers at the title company and have a private visit before returning to the office.

First, a prayer of thanks, then I gave my ancestors a tour and introduced them to you. Granny, she would have been so proud. My dad, I wonder what he would have thought. My stepfather, Saul, would have given that low whistle, like when he saw a fancy car. Cousin Irene, she tutored me in math during high school and encouraged me to attend college. She would be impressed by your square footage and the special touches. If it wasn’t for them, we may not be together.

There on the kitchen island were two mugs from the builder and a note from Dennis, the salesperson at the model home. He thanked me for building with M/I Homes and wished me many happy years in the neighborhood. Over the long winter months of construction in Indiana, I was in the neighborhood often. You were the second house in the Phase II of the neighborhood. The first house on the cul-de-sac. Intentionally, not on a premium lot backing up to the retention pond for the safety of my growing fleet-footed toddler.

Oil painting by artist Brenda L. Thomas, Harvey, IL (2023)

We’re both older now. Maybe I’ve taken better care of myself than I have invested in you. I still enjoy watching families of geese trek to the retention pond, one adult in front with the gaggle, and an adult bringing up the rear. My toddler is now an adult with his own family and beautiful home. It’s been several years since we’ve hosted the holidays and filled the driveway with cars. I still love lingering with morning coffee or watching the sunsets from the back deck. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that 6+ million Americans 55 years and older leap to find a new address annually. Recently, I have thought of something more cozy. We have so much history, you are difficult to leave though. Time will tell.

The Geese family heads to the retention pond before their gaggle leaves the nest.