Is One the Loneliest Number?
Exploring Isolation, Loneliness and Solitude
The Public Health Epidemic
In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy named loneliness and isolation as a growing epidemic across generations. It’s a serious issue—and one that deserves attention, especially as we think about technology, AI, and connectivity in our lives.
I also think there’s an important distinction within that conversation.
Isolation is more structural.
It’s the absence of interaction, often not by choice. It can happen when mobility changes, when circumstances shift, or when life narrows our social circles.
Loneliness is a feeling.
It can show up in a crowded room. It can sit beside you at a full table. It’s the sense that, somehow, you are alone, unseen or disconnected.
A Community Response to Loneliness
That’s why I began thinking about organizations like Meals on Wheels (MOW).
A friend of mine, was the long-time Executive Director of our local MOW, and she explained their impact to me. It was nearly twenty years ago. It makes more sense to me now.
“Yes, our drivers deliver meals. But they also deliver something less tangible and just as essential: human connection.”
I get it now. A knock on the door. A familiar face. A brief conversation that says, you matter, and someone sees you today. It’s a simple act with profound impact.
Because when isolation begins to creep in, connection—however small—can interrupt it.
And maybe that’s where this all comes together.
We don’t need to fear being alone.
But we do need to pay attention to when alone starts to feel lonely…
and when lonely slips into isolation.
There’s wisdom in knowing the difference.
What Happened to Me
Last weekend, there were 120 of us gathered in one place.
Women from across the Midwest—leaders, volunteers, advocates. We came together to share ideas, celebrate scholarships, and continue the work of empowering women and girls.
It was energizing. Inspiring. Full.
And also—if I’m being honest—a little overwhelming.
Even extroverts like me need a breather now and then. A pause. A moment to reset.
Three days of conversations, communal meals, and constant connection.
So every now and then, I slipped away.
Back to the stillness. The quiet. The sanctuary of my hotel room.
Not because I was unhappy. Not because I didn’t enjoy being there.
Because not every moment alone is a problem to be solved.
Sometimes, it’s exactly what we need.
Sometimes “one” is the most honest number. Sometimes it’s the most peaceful.
The key is whether that “one” is chosen…or imposed.
Solitude is chosen. It is the deep breath between conversations. The quiet that restores rather than drains. The space where you come back to yourself.
Last weekend reminded me that I can be fully present in a room of 120 women…
and still honor my need to step away.
In fact, it’s what allowed me to return more engaged and more my energized self.
What About You?
So I am wondering:
When do you feel most restored?
When does “alone” feel like a gift… and when does it feel like something else?
Who checks in on you—and who do you check in on?
Because in the end, it’s not really about the number at all.
If your phone isn’t ringing, pick up the phone and call someone. Call to say hello or you’re checking in because you haven’t connected in a while.
“One” can be the loneliest number.
For decades, we’ve been told—starting with the 1969 Three Dog Night hit song, “One”—that “one is the loneliest number.”
But it can also be the most peaceful, the most grounding, and sometimes—the most necessary.
If this post resonated with you, please comment and share. I am always interested in your perspective on the topics discussed in Older, Bolder & Better! Thank you for reading.
Love this, Gemini twin. i have also felt lonely as hell in a crowded room, even if surrounded by friends or family, and perfectly content in my own space and freedom. Also love how you made the connection to Meals on Wheels