Why Friendship After Work Matters

How to Find Your Tribe

Make new friends, but keep the old. Those are silver, these are gold. —Joseph Parry

Thinking about life after work usually begins with financial planning. It is also an opportunity to focus on another “F” word. Friendship. Cultivating relationships that evolve into friendships requires more time and effort without a workplace. Investing in friendships is as important as the strategy we create with our financial advisors. The National Health and Aging Trends Study estimates twenty-five percent of those 65+ are socially isolated. Globally, the health and wellness community acknowledges loneliness and isolation as an epidemic. In the AMA’s What Doctors Wish Patients Knew™ two psychiatrists, Tiffani Bell, MD, MPH, and Frank Clark, MD., linked the epidemic to serious health complications. Stroke, heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, depression, and anxiety are cited by both the American Medical Association and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as outcomes of loneliness and isolation.

After the corporate climb ends, life becomes more focused on relationships with friends and family. Through their work lives, many employees have developed more acquaintances and less deep relationships. As we age, there is also a trend toward becoming more particular with whom we want to invest our time. There is often less tolerance for toxic relationships, negative people, or the gamesmanship and politics of former ‘work friends.’

Here are three ideas for developing friendships after work:

1)    Connect with like-minded people: Do you have a love of animals and animal welfare? Do you want to connect more deeply with a religious or spiritual community? Are you a reader, writer, or sports fan? Find others who share your interests.

2)    Take the lead: Extend an invitation to acquaintances for a pot-luck dinner, neighborhood picnic, wine night or to watch a sporting event. Invite your acquaintances to bring a friend. You can create the opportunity to widen your circle and meet potential friends.

3)    Volunteer for a cause you believe in: Our careers provide opportunities to gain experience in areas of importance to organizations seeking volunteers. We can also volunteer and learn new skills. It is also an opportunity to meet others with similar interests.

During the acute period of the pandemic, I volunteered with a social agency to call three seniors several times a week. It was a quick upbeat call of no more than fifteen minutes and our conversations were wide-ranging. The experience was mutually beneficial. I was providing a connection for a shut-in and my joy was increased by being able to make a difference in someone’s day.

Please share your experiences in creating lasting friendships as an adult. What works for you?