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Matthew Curlewis's avatar

What a gorgeous, frank and heartfelt post Brenda. I'm so glad that you provide the nuance of this "it can be complicated" post, regarding people and their attitudes towards parental 'celebration' days. I am indeed one of the fortunate ones you mention - my father was there for my NYU university graduation (from Australia), and for my Amsterdam wedding to a Dutch man (again from Australia), and I got to be alone with him, to help farewell him through his death process at 92 years of age. Extraordinary. All of it. And I don't forget my good fortune for one moment. I try my best to share it onwards and outwards. Thank you so much for sharing your many and varied wisdoms as well.

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Brenda J's avatar

Initially, I wasn't sure how this perspective on parental holidays would be received. At Mother's Day, I shied away from the topic. Now, I am happy I put the 'complicated' part out there for others to consider. Thank you so much for reading this blog post and commenting, Matthew. I love that your father was able to share your pivotal moments and lived to 92 years of age.

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Matthew Curlewis's avatar

I'm so glad you reconsidered your Mother's Day feelings and decided to share this post. One of the biggest things I've learned along the way is that authenticity is the path to understanding. I think authenticity also paves the pathways towards healing. How will we ever succeed at better understanding of one another, if we're constantly hiding or otherwise masking our true selves? I do not suggest for one moment that it's easy to share vulnerabilities in a lightning-fast-to-judge world, but I have faith in playing a long game. We've been conditioned to rate ourselves (simple, but deadly mistake) based on the Likes and Comments we receive from our world, but please know this: even if I hadn't Liked or Commented on this post, your words still empowered me. Your authenticity moved me. And you might never have actually "known" this.

So. Do you have any other "difficult topics" tucked away back there? Enough already with "shying away" from them. You're older, bolder and better than that, so in my view: BRING THEM ON!!!

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Brenda J's avatar

I needed that reminder, “I’m older, bolder and better” than shying away from the tough topics. Matthew, thank you❤️!

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Matthew Curlewis's avatar

Happy to be of service!

I might just put this here as well. Very short, new publishing news that, as it happens, is relevant.

https://brightflash1000.com/2025/06/07/wanting-his-touch/

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Brenda J's avatar

Congratulations!!! And, it is sooo very relevant! Your last line stays with me.

It is beautiful.

“…And I want my father’s hand that I am holding, instead of being cold and lifeless, to feel like it could lead me to tomorrow, again.”

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Eileen Drennen's avatar

Beautifully said, Brenda! I am so grateful you wrote this post today and love that photo of you & your Dad. (And you 🩷)

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Brenda J's avatar

Thanks Eileen! I appreciate you reading this post and taking time to comment. We’re overdue for a Zoom visit!

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Ellen Webster's avatar

I am in awe of how much you so skillfully pack into your short blogs. I am grateful you are one of the observers who helps us make sense of what we see but more often don’t . . . Thank you for this beautiful piece, Brenda.

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